Movie Review: The One
[01/20/2002] [Raeonn Tala]With time cops, parallel universes, and plenty of that good ol' kung fu, this movie apparently wants to be a video game. Yulaw (Jet Li) is an ex-time cop travelling through the different universes killing his parallel selves. With every version of himself that he kills, the energy of that self is divided among the rest, causing them to grow stronger, faster, and smarter (though I'm a little skeptical of the last of those). If you see one movie this year, don't see this one. There are only two acceptable reasons to see this movie: It was 75 cents at the cheap theatre and you had absolutely nothing better to do, or your only other option was "Thomas and the Magic Railroad". In spite of its title, all of the elements of this movie don't quite add up to one; by any measure, "The One" equals less than zero. Way less than zero. There are glaringly obvious holes in the so-called storyline (Who was that woman with the rat in her shoe, and why were the two Jets always dressed alike?), the special effects are quite often cheesy, and some things make about as much sense as a monkey named Bobo. However, you have to give the movie a little credit when it comes to some of the minor details. It might not make any sense on the movie screen, but who doesn't want a rat-bomb that they can hide in the heel of their shoes? Somewhere between the complete rape of the "Matrix"-esque slow-mo bullet thing and the massive number of movie cliches (Yep, you guessed it: in the last fight scene Jet Li's character uses the oh-so-tired "There can only be one.") you realize that there's a reason that this movie is only 80 minutes long. What was Jet Li thinking? I give it 1.5 out of 5 Electric Samurai, or 2 Electric Samurai down. Let's go home and watch some "Samurai Jack".
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