AMTGARD'S OPINION CODEX • ALL OPINIONS, ALL THE TIME • MARCH 28, 2024
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AMTGARD RULES

Amtgard Rules of Play.

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ALL OPINIONS ALL THE TIME
We Do NOT Care About the Relative Length of Your Penis!
[04/25/2002] [Snicker Furfoot]

Amtgard is many things - a game, a society, a club, and a family. Unfortunately, for some people, they look at the "game" part, and automatically assume that there is some way to "win" - to get a high score of some kind, and be eternally recognized among their peers as the best of the best, so everything they do is garnered towards this eventual goal. They read the rules and corpora and plot their path to achieve maximum results: enter this quals, host this event, run for this office, gain this title, receive this award. Then, when things don't go exactly their way, they are outraged, and (to take the video game analogy further) demand their quarter back, as though the game has somehow failed them. They throw their accomplishments on the table, for all to view and measure, and demand recognition, as though this were a penis measuring contest.

I have news for these people: life is not fair. God kills puppies, and you are not always going to get awards just because you expect them, and it's not always someone else's fault (and you're much smaller than you think). Awards do not *have* to be given for anything, they exist as a reminder of good service, not a payment, and anyone who dedicates time, money and effort to Amtgard with the expectation that they will receive some piece of paper or leather is doing it for all the wrong reasons. The next time you volunteer your services, remind yourself what "volunteer" means. Do things for Amtgard, by all means, but do them without complaint, do not expect rewards, and if and when you are rewarded, be pleasantly surprised.

There is a good side to all of this: Amtgard doesn't cost a dollar (or even a quarter) to play, and the recognition you will receive from your peers will last much longer than a high score on an arcade game.

Game over, man. Game over.

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LINKS

Amtgard.com

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The Amtgard O.R.K. 3.0

AmtWiki

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Amtgard 7 Expansion Group