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KINGDOMS
 Burning Lands
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THE SOAP BOX OF E-SAM
Attack of the Clans
[06/18/2002] [Randall]

Iron Mountains Emperor Belgarion Torrid, recently swept into power on a reform platform, announced Monday that he was assuming emergency powers. These new powers, supported by Imperial Althing Member Owl Owl Binksteel, include the authority to take "whatever steps are necessary" to battle the separatists in the Burning Lands.

"It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling," the Archduke told the Iron Mountains Althing. "I love democracy. I love the Empire. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated."

The call to give the Emperor emergency powers was recently helped when the Iron Mountains Knight's Council, led by Masters Otter and Hammer Miku, expressed doubts over the Empire's safety.

"You must realise there aren't enough knights to protect the Empire. We are keepers of the peace, not soldiers," Miku said during a recent meeting of the Althing.

"Do you really think it will come to war?" the Emperor asked.

"Impossible to see," replied the diminutive Master Otter. "The Archon Side clouds everything."

As his first act with the new powers, Torrid declared the creation of a "Grand Army of the Empire". Many Althing members who supported granting the Emperor greater authority were opposed to the creation of an army, fearing that such a move would split Amtgard in two. Torrid denied that this was his intention.

"I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to quit Amtgard," the Emperor told the Althing.

E-Samurai has discovered that cloners in the Wetlands have been building an army for the Iron Mountains for the past seven years, with fifty units ready now and another eight due to be complete before the newsletter is out. The clones, who are totally obedient and will take any order without question, are copies of a bounty hunter named Vale-o Fett.

Apart from his pay, Fett was also given an unaltered clone named Byell-Bod Fett. Said the elder Fett: "I'm just a simple Grand Duke trying to make my way in Amtgard."


[ Disclaimer: This is a humor article. I think it is wise of Belgarion to request the backing of his Althing, especially since Aramithris plans to stall the monarchs by claiming they don't have the authority to reform the game and aren't supported by their people. ]

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