Ten Things to Bring
[12/17/2002] [Vigus]I attended the Emerald Hills coronation this weekend. It rocked mucha lucha style. Good event, great atmosphere, and great attitudes by the Hills. The ditching was good, with a slight adjustment for going from the Shot-in-Motion style of fighting to Atomic Clock. (That's been rehashed enough. Rant is wrong, SIM is right, 'nuff said.) But I learned something new. I've been to Wetlands events. I've been to Clan. Rakis. Spring War. Harvest War, Burning Lands park days, Dragonspine Events and Golden Plains Events. But there was an unsuspected complication that was encountered at the Emerald Hills coronation. So, to counter this phenomenon, I've come up with a new, comprehensive guide to an Emerald Hills event. Here's the things you'll need to have a successful event at the Emerald Hills. | 1. | Lead lined cooler. This will block the X-Ray vision of the Corsairs so that the can't see your beer. | | 2. | Bear Traps. Use these to trap your cooler so that the Corsairs can't get to it easily. | | 3. | A blow gun, with sleep potion darts. Use this to defend your cooler from the Corsairs that get to it around all the other precautions you have enacted. | | 4. | Budweiser. This can be used to bribe Darth Nevron to stay out of your cooler, since he's already gotten what he came for. Also, he may be able to convince the Corsairs to stay away from your cooler. | | 5. | An axe. Good for splitting wood that is laying around, and can be used to defend your cooler from the Corsairs. | | 6. | An extra six pack of bad beer, to be left laying around. As a decoy to lure Corsairs away. | | 7. | A large cross. This will help keep the Corsairs away for a short while, until they become immune to its power. | | 8. | Water. Large, copious amounts of water. Like vampires, Corsairs are afraid of water, until their thirst overcomes their fear. Then it, too, is powerless to stop them. | | 9. | The SpumCo (tm) Fast-Talking Forest Doll. Pull the string and set it outside your camp, and it may distract the Corsairs long enough to hide your cooler with camo net. | | 10. | Duke Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir Aramithris. Why? Well, it's called fighting evil with evil. As tough as the Corsairs are, even they can only stand so many comments of "You are beta" and "Goddamn you" before they wilt and die. | Utilizing these ten rules of camping at an Emerald Hills event, you should be able to maximize your pleasure while minimizing your beer loss. Also, bring lots of good attitude and cheer and you'll go away with memories of one great event.
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