AMTGARD'S OPINION CODEX • ALL OPINIONS, ALL THE TIME • DECEMBER 12, 2018
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AMTGARD RULES

Amtgard Rules of Play.

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KINGDOMS
 Burning Lands
 Emerald Hills
 Celestial Kingdom
 Iron Mountains
 Golden Plains
 Dragonspine
 Wetlands
 Goldenvale
 Neverwinter
 Rising Winds
 Blackspire
 Crystal Groves
 Desert Winds
 Tal Dagore
 Northern Lights
 Westmarch
 Rivermoor
 Polaris
 Northreach
 Winter's Edge
THE LIST YOU OBEY
Overheard at Spring War
[09/02/2003] [Michael]

“Sorry, bro.” – “Take that head shot you sluffin’ ho. I got more where that came from.”

“You were still a squire last year.” – “Your kingdom has more knights than Sharazad.”

“I know some guys from your company.” – “. . . and they are all cheaters and criminals.”

“I know a girl in your household.” – “Please make me a member so I have a chance to score with her.”

“Watch the damn headshots, dude.” – “By tossing my head and throwing my shades I can cheese any shoulder shot you throw.”

“Fire Mountain Hills, I’ve heard of that group.” – “Go away, newbie I want to drink and I ain’t gonna share with you. Even Snicker doesn’t care about your group”

“I am role-playing a thief.” – “I thought I could keep your liquor but since you caught me, I guess I’ll give it back.”

“I am role-playing an Anti-Paladin.” – “I am a natural asshole and my bro shouldn’t have to give back that liquor.”

“Dawn Patrol!” – “If you are foolish enough to sleep on site, we will steal everything not nailed down and then wake you up. Cool huh?”

“I thought this was a LARP.” – “I am too slow for trenching and too stupid for battlegames. What are the rest of you going to do to make me happy?”

“That’s really pretty. You should enter it in an A&S tourney.” – “Go away, A&S looser. I want to drink and I ain’t gonna share and please don’t tell me how you made that POS.”

“I am with security.” – “I hope you are dumb enough to bribe me with booze or sex, otherwise I will attempt to abuse Amtgard’s most petty and non-existent power.”

“I don’t play shot-in-motion.” – “I cheated you and there’s nothing you can do about it, because I will pretend I can see shot speed to the nearest nanosecond.”

“I don’t play atomic clock” – “You have to die too, even though my shot was five seconds late, or I will have a screaming hissy.”

“Nice to see you again.” – “I don’t remember you or your group and I wish you would go away.”

“Nice to see you again, bro.” – “I just remembered how much I hate you and everyone dressed like you. There is a fair chance we will come to physical blows before the night is over.”

“Heya, you still with so-and-so?” – “I slept with your mate last event and I wonder how many others had the same pleasure.”

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